


Murphy's conscience

by ElsieBlake



Series: Murphy's conscience [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 6x01, 6x02, Angst, Hurt, I dont really know, One Shot, Spoilers, ish, season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-15 15:32:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18672493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElsieBlake/pseuds/ElsieBlake
Summary: SPOILERS AHEAD. lines literally taken from episodesMurphy has a voice in his head as he tells Clarke everything she is doing wrong.Better description in notes





	Murphy's conscience

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS AHEAD. so now that I've shouted that, let's proceed. I watched the first 2 episodes (obviously) and didn't like the way Murphy was treating Clarke. I thought there were a lot of flaws in what was said so I want to fix that.
> 
> Murphy was the only one not affected by the eclipse, but I still think something happened to him. My idea was that Murphy's conscience came out to say hi. He always likes to contradict people, how would he like it. His conscience is none other than Charlotte because I think she was a major changing point in his character, not as big as Emori, but she's still alive so can't really be his conscience.
> 
> Anywho, on with the show.

They sat in the school, each chained to a different wall. Bellamy was right, it was a perfect time to talk things out.

"Somehow whenever I'm with you, sooner or later, we wind up here, don't we?" He said, trying to get a rise out of her. "First you hanged me."

"Actually, that was me," Bellamy butted in.

"Only after she forced your hand."

Still no reaction. Not even a pinch of regret.

"Tied up me and Emori in Becca's lab. She was disposable too, right?"

"I know you remember that one, Clarke, coz you drew a little picture of it in your memory book. Draw a picture of Bellamy in the fighting pit too?"

"She drew a lot in that though," a voice said beside him. He didn't need to turn around to know what he would see. There stood the young girl in the grey jacket, her hair sticking out of the two braids she wore. Charlotte. "She drew you leaving her on earth to die, I doubt it was because the memory warmed her heart at night. I wonder how many she spent crying over it. Beside," she moved around him so he was forced to look at her. "She didn't let Emori take it, she did that herself. She bore it so Emori wouldn't have to."

Murphy looked back at Clarke, but he couldn't help it, anger was fuelling him. She wasn't the hero. She deserved all the pain she got. "I was even tied up in polis, when Lexa died."

"Don't," Clarke warned, her voice cracking.

This time, Charlotte slammed her hand into his shoulder, making him wince in pain. "Really? You want to make the death of the girl she loved about you? You really are an ass, Murphy." She shook her head in disappointment as she sat down on the floor beside him. "If I remember correctly, which I do because your memories are mine, she was worried when she saw you. Asked Titus what he did to her friend. She called you her friend Murphy, how many times has someone called you that? I bet you can count it on one hand." He snarled at her. "She was trying to save you while Titus shot at her and accidentally hit Lexa. How is it her fault you were the first Skaikru member he ran into?"

He looked up at Clarke, the back of her head was pressed against the wall. He could see how much she was forcing her face to be still. He wondered if she was there, remembering what happened. He hoped she was. Hoped she was remembering the dread she felt that day, the same dread he felt when she took Emori.

"But Emori is still alive," Charlotte reminded him.

Clarke noticed him wince when Charlotte shoved him. "Jackson can look at it in the morning," she said, mistaking it for the wound Emori caused.

"It's not from Emori. It's the bullet wounds I took from saving Bellamy's life from the armed psychopaths you put back in the battlefield."

"What the hell do you want from me, Murphy?" She yelled, finally getting rattled the way he wanted. "Want me to say I'm the bad guy?Fine I'm the bad guy. When I'm in charge people die. Isn't that what you said?" She asked, turning to Bellamy. She faced Murphy again. "Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"It's a start," he huffed. He turned away and looked at Charlotte instead, but she was gone.  
_______

 

Murphy was surprised how soon Charlotte came back, usually she's gone for weeks, sometimes months, but it has only been a few minutes. He opened a door to find Clarke alone.

"Look who I found," he mumbled.

She turned to face him holding a radio in one hand, that wasn't even on, and a knife to her neck.

"Oh, not you too."

He didn't understand. Everyone else was attacking each other, why was she attacking herself. Charlotte appeared in front of her, inspecting her face. Her eyes kept going from the radio to Murphy.

"Put the knife down or I'll put one in your leg," Murphy said, lifting his gun. 

"Murphy, hold on a second," Charlotte tried.

"Don't make me do this," he said, ignoring her. "As fun as it would be to shoot you, Bellamy would hear it."

"She thinks someone's talking to her," Charlotte said. "They're telling her to do this."

But why? He thought.

Charlotte turned on him, she had been waiting for that question. "You read the book, John. For two days, friends become foes. What happens when all your friends leave you? There's no one left to become your foe, but yourself."

Clarke's eyes were fixed to the radio, her grip on the knife getting tighter.

"Hey, Clarke," he tried to get her attention.

"You pushed her away and now she's going to kill herself. Whose voice do you think she hears? Raven's? Bellamy's? Your's?" Charlotte taunted.

"Listen to me," he tried again, more forcefully. "Your speaking into a radio with the power off. See, there's no indicator light."

The knife wavered as she realised he was right. There was no light, no one on the other side. He expected her to move the knife, but she didn't, not right away. She actually moved it back and, for a second, Murphy thought she was going to do it. She didn't. She lowered the knife.

"Good, now that we've decided you're only a threat to yourself, let's stop Bellamy from killing us."  
______

Murphy was alone when Bellamy tried to drown him, there was no Charlotte and no Clarke. At first, he thought she was leaving him to die. He was pissed off. She spoke of having second chances, but, when one was given to her, she didn't take it?

Then he caught a glimpse of blonde amidst the fight. She stood to the side, that stupid radio back in her hand. Then he was in the water being drowned by one of the few people who still had faith in him.  
______

The next time Charlotte came to him, she had a knife in her hand. With a jolt, Murphy saw that it was the same piece of scrap he had fashioned into a blade when they first landed. It was the same one she had used to kill Wells Jaha.

"What are you doing with that?" He asked.

"The eclipse is over," she said simply, turning the knife over in her hand. "Yet I'm still here. I wonder who else's demons are awake."

Murphy didn't need to be told twice. He ran to the room Russel had given to Clarke. Charlotte didn't follow, but he knew she would be there when he found her.

Clarke's door was locked when he got there, but Emori had taught him well. He had picked the lock in seconds and marched into Clarke's room. There she stood, a radio in one hand and a knife in the other. She didn't even turn around when he came in, just stared out the window.

"Clarke?"

"She won't listen to you," Charlotte said from her new perch on Clarke's desk. "All she hears is the voice in the radio. You know what that feels like, don't you? You almost put a gun to your head in that bunker, Murphy. You were in isolation because no one else was there. She's in isolation because no one else cares."

He stepped forward and put his hand on Clarke's, the one with the radio. She turned to face him.

"Clarke," he said.

"It's my fault," she whispered. "I'm toxic. I'm the commander of death. I'm the reason people die."

Murphy glanced over at Charlotte, silently asking for help.

"But you don't need it," Charlotte said. "You know what it's like to feel insignificant. To feel like you're responsible for horrible things, and then to live with it after. What would you want to hear?"

But that wouldn't work. He hadn't wanted to hear anything. He only wanted the voices to stop.

With one swift movement, he snatched the radio from Clarke's hand and threw it through the window.

"What did you do?" Clarke stared after the radio, her hands shaking.

"Everything is toxic. Every shitting thing that happened to us in the ground was toxic. We all did things we wish we hadn't," he glanced at Charlotte when he said it, just in time to see her little smirk. "You more than most because you chose to lead. It was the price of keeping us alive. We lasted a damn sight longer than anyone thought, because of you."

"And what's that gotten me. I have lost everything." She shouted. "Again."

"Is that the face of someone with no regrets?" Charlotte asked.

No, it didn't. Clarke looks like someone crazed by tragedy. She looked lost. She moved the knife up to her neck.

"Clarke, the eclipse is over. The radio is gone. You don't need to do this."

"Why not? Won't everything be better if I do? Look me in the eye and tell me that you don't want me dead," she demanded. "You, Raven, Shaw. All of you wish I were dead. Or do you just want to have the honour of doing it yourself? Like you said, it would be fun to shoot me."

Charlotte stood beside him, a gun in her hand. She held it out to him with a raised eyebrow. It was a test. Would he take it or not? Kill the broken girl in front of him, or try to fix her?

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos welcome. Hope you enjoyed 
> 
> \- El x


End file.
